Oh, Audrey!
by loveu5missu6
Summary: Chuck and Blair have a new baby girl. Audrey Renee could cause some feelings to stir between the teens as they learn the rules of being parents.
1. Audreys Appearance

Blair tasted the sweet liquor on her tongue. She knew it was wrong. She knew it was unlike her. And she knew that she shouldn't be doing it. But she just wanted to kill it. Kill it. Chuck Bass' spawn was inside her. Sure, it wasn't that big, and yeah it was helpless. Blair was in control of everything. Everything that went in inside her mind and then eventually her body. She prayed she would miscarry.

Suddenly, she felt as if someone had punched her in the stomach. She clutched it and realized that the baby hadn't agreed with the alcohol.

And then someone's hands were on her bare shoulders. She tried to shrug them off, but they stayed there.

"That wasn't very smart, Blair." Someone tsked at her.

She spun around and saw his smirk. "Leave me alone!" she snarled. She picked up her bar napkin and wiped at her eyes that were dropping tears.

He picked her up and threw her carefully over his shoulder. She pounded on his back. "DANGER!"

"Oh shut up, Blair. Everyone knows that you're pregnant. And frankly, I don't know why the bartender was serving you. I'm going to have Bart sue him." he spoke with a matter-of-fact tone clear in his voice.

She sighed and went limp, "Where are you taking me, anyways?"

"Hospital." He paused, "That alcohol cannot in any way be good for the baby."

Blair groaned. "Why do you care?"

"Because that's my baby in there," he paused. "our baby, actually. And I cannot see why you _don't_ care."

~xoxo~

Blair rolled her eyes as she rubbed her stomach. It was humongous. She was 3 days over her due date and it was killing her. Her maternity clothes barely fit. And Chuck was angry with her over something she had said about Bart. As much as Chuck absolutely despised his father, he couldn't handle the insults that came with him.

She threw her phone down on the bed and walked over to the nursery that was across the hall. She found Serena sitting on the floor crying.

Blair wasn't completely sure how she'd gotten in. Dorota had been asleep, of course, clearly exhausted over Blair's 3 false alarms.

"S?" Blair asked. Her back was breaking from the strength of the baby. "How did you get in?"

"Simply walked in, B," she said as she turned around. Her cheeks were puffy and her side bangs were pasted to the side of her forehead. Her black mascara was smudging down her cheeks and the white eye shadow that she was sporting was half on one eye and half off the other. "like, it's not locked while you're pregnant." She laughed like she was amused. "Like you're waiting for Chuck to walk in and waltz you off your feet."

Blair backed up, "S, what's up?"

"Dan and his little sister, Booby." She snarled. "I hate him. So much. His stupid love poems and now he's talking about how hot and heavy he wants to get with me. Well, I'm done with sex for a while. At least until you're done complaining about pregnancy."

Blair sighed and sat down on the rocker. "Look, our condom broke, S. And…babies can be erased. Don't let that stop you from your fun. As much as I despise Mr. Brooklyn, I want you to be happy."

~xoxo~

Chuck laid on his bed with his headphone jammed into his ears. He heard a knock at his door and sat up.

The maid, Cortlynne was standing at the door. She was young, and Chuck thought she resembled a house bunny. She wore ridiculous pink skirts and purple tights.

"Chuck?" she walked in. Today her angel blond hair was pulled on top of her head in a bun and she had the black house phone against her shoulder. "Chuck, phone."

He groaned. He didn't get the concept of house phones. What was the big idea? What was the need to call on a ridiculous extra bill whenever you could reach Chuck on Facebook or his cell phone? He snatched the phone and Cortlynne stood back. "Get out!" he pushed her out.

She blushed and walked out of his room. He pressed the phone to his ear.

"What?" he asked.

"Mister Chuck! Mister Chuck!" a Mexican woman's voice screamed. "Mister Chuck!"

"What, Dorota?" he snapped. He looked down at his fingers and stood from his bed. He grabbed his blue file and filed at his claws.

"Mister Chuck, Miss Blair is in hospital! Get here fast! She need you!" she hadn't quite gotten the concept of grammar.

Chuck groaned. "Right now?"

"Mister Chuck, babies no waiting for you! Get here quick!" she screamed.

Chuck rolled his eyes and picked up his black button up vest. "Yeah, yeah, whatever. I'll be there."

He hung up on her and grabbed his phone and his English textbook. He'd failed the last test, so he decided that while he was waiting for Blair to push his kid out of her private area, he could at least study a bit on dialogue. He called Alexander, the guy who was driving the limo while his regular driver, Leo was out sick with his daughter, Amanda.

Chuck was out on the sidewalk ten minutes later with a smoothie and his belongings. He grabbed his seat in the back of the limo and took a sip of his smoothie. He found it bland so he snapped his finger and the vodka spun out onto a tray. He dumped some in his smoothie and sipped hard on it. He found it to be a tad bit better and sat back against the seat. He thought about Blair giving birth. She'd had a rough pregnancy and had continuously tried to kill the baby. He was afraid birthing the baby would kill her just like it had his mother. What if it did? What would Chuck do with a baby? A baby…. He wasn't even sure if the baby was a boy or a girl.

~xoxo~

Blair screamed and shuddered as the baby was tearing her apart to get through her. The doctor's eyes went wide and he put his hands out.

And after another push, Blair's baby came out and started screaming at the top of it's lungs.

Then the afterbirth. It was disgusting, and even Eleanor screamed at the blood and the placenta.

Blair began panting. It was like whenever she'd just had sex and it had been rough. Her first time wasn't as painful as birthing that kid. That kid was hers and Blair didn't even want it.

Sure, she hadn't seen him yet. And everyone said, that after you met the kid, breastfed it, and then named it, it got better and she would fall in love with it.

Blair wasn't so sure. She didn't understand what the big deal about babies was! Babies-all they did was: poop, sleep, scream, cry, tug at your boobs, and keep you up all night. Babies were stupid.

Even Blair's baby-which was bound to be perfect-was going to be the ugliest thing ever, probably. Babies weren't even very cute, in Blair's mind. Blair _had _been cute. She'd had the lovely blackish brown hair and long, pretty eyelashes. Her mother had also designed all of her clothes, besides the ones given to Eleanor by her friends. Blair had been stylish and adorable.

Blair's baby was probably going to be an ugly little rat with cheap clothes. Probably be fat too. Blair had been the perfect size, and had grown up perfectly too. She'd gained her father's nice figure, and her mother's beautiful face. She hadn't gotten the attitude from either of them, but was often told by her grandmother's old friends, that she was like her. Just like her.

~xoxo~

Chuck took one look at his daughter and knew he had the perfect name for the little girl.

_My little baby girl, Audrey. _He thought. He knew that it was to make Blair happy, but he actually loved the name.

Audrey, Blair, and Chuck. ABC.

Audrey went perfectly with the idea of creating an alphabet. Not that either of them wanted more than three children.

And so it went. Blair agreed to Audrey, though she didn't take much interest at even looking at the baby girl. Birth certificate was looked at by both parents and Audrey was finally for real.

_Going home. Bye Eleanor. TTYL –Chuck_

_Alright. How's the bb? –Eleanor_

_Fine. Name: Audrey Renee Bass –Chuck_

_Lovely… & how's blair doing? –Eleanor_

_Fine. I think. She doesn't take much of an interest in Aud. I think she's upset about becoming a teen mom. –Chuck _

_Yeah. Well, ily all! Kisses. –Eleanor_

Chuck placed a kiss on the top of Audrey's head and shut his phone down.

~xoxo~

As soon as Chuck left, Blair picked Audrey up out of her crib and placed her on her chest. Audrey was perfect. She had thin brown hair and long eyelashes. Her eyes were a dark shade of blue, and when Blair first saw Audrey, she told the doctors how nobody that she knew of in either of the families, had dark blue eyes. The doctor was quick to explain that although the baby had blue eyes now, it didn't necessarily mean she would have them forever.

As soon as Chuck had come to see Blair and Audrey, Blair lost interest in Audrey, as she soon realized that that was Chuck's baby as well as hers. They were going to have to play nice and _share_. She wondered how life as a parent would be. Audrey really was perfect. Blair adored her, although she wasn't completely sure if she was going to be a good mother. She hoped. She wished. She _prayed_. It was hard for her to speak to God, and it was the first time that Blair had actually turned to religion for help. She knew it shouldn't be so hard, but it was.

Audrey really was perfect. She had the perfect name, thanks to Chuck. And as much as Blair didn't want to admit it-she was truthfully glad that Chuck had thought that the baby girl looked like an Audrey. Renee had also been his idea, for a middle name. It fell perfectly off her tongue, like a name should. Audrey Renee Bass.

She picked up her phone and went to her contacts. She slowly put it on silent and then sent a text to Serena.

_Hey. –Blair_

_Hey. –Serena_

_We're okay. –Blair_

_Good. How's the…baby? –Serena_

_Girl. She's fine. Chuck named her by HIMSELF! Audrey Renee Bass. Do u like it? –Blair_

_Beautiful. Aunt Serena wants 2 see her soon. –Serena_

_How's about 2morro? U can bring me some clothes for her & me? –Blair_

_Sounds good. I can't wait! –Serena_

_Me neither! She's beautiful. Audrey. I finally have a daughter named AUDREY! –Blair_

_Haha, I know. Never thought the day would come, eh? –Serena_

_Nope! I always thought I would have n Audrey, but so soon? –Blair_

_Yep! I know how u feel! –Serena_

_(: well, I'll send u a picture, but then I'm going to sleep! –Blair_

_K. ILY, B. –Serena_

_*PICTURE MESSAGE* I love you too, S. Audrey… -Blair_

_(: love her –Serena_

_Me too. I think I really do. –Blair_

_Good. –Serena_


	2. Blair's Baby

Chuck walked into the penthouse and walked into the kitchen. Cortlynne was sitting on one of the swivel chairs with her little pug on her lap, dragging a pink brush through the fine hair. She looked up. "Hey."

He tossed his head and went to the refrigerator. Bart had stocked the thing with lots of healthy food, hoping that Chuck would have Blair over to spend the night. Bart wanted that little baby, his grandson or granddaughter to be so healthy, it wasn't even funny. Chuck grabbed a banana and a spoonful of peanut butter and headed up the steps with his snack and his thoughts. He left his phone on the counter and when he reached his room he threw himself on the bed.

_Audrey Renee…my baby girl. I should probably tell my dad about my baby. _Chuck thought about Audrey and then finally about Blair. _Blair…so beautiful. God, I wish she could be mine. _

Chuck threw the banana peel in the trash can by his bed and then stuck the spoon his mouth. He plundered down the stairs and then looked around. Serena was sitting on the couch with her white phone in one hand goggling at the picture.

"S, whatcha got there?" he leaned over her. His words came out sloppily with the spoon still in his mouth. Serena smiled and showed Chuck the picture of his little girl.

"Audrey." She spoke softly. "You did good, brother."

Chuck grinned and snatched the phone. "Poor thing, you got a blurry picture of her."

He ran to the kitchen and threw his spoon on the counter. Cortlynne could get it. He grabbed his phone and ran to the couch. He jumped over it and opened up his pictures. He found the best picture of little Audrey and showed Serena.

"I can't believe you got a baby!" she whined. "I want to buy one at the store!"

Chuck chuckled and leaned back against the couch. "I know. I can't believe I have a baby. Audrey Renee. Did Blair tell you I named her?"

Serena nodded, "Yeah. And I'm sure Blair loved the idea of having a daughter named Audrey."

"I did too, S. Audrey. So formal and beautiful." Chuck said.

~xoxo~

Eleanor walked into the room. "I'm here, darling!"

Blair looked up from her phone and smiled at her mother. "Hello, mother."

Eleanor smiled, "How's little Audrey?"

"How did you know her name?" Blair asked.

"Mister Chuck." Eleanor grinned. She held up a bag with two fingers. "And I think it's perfect. Audrey Renee my little baby!"

Blair raised an eyebrow, "What have you got, mom?" Eleanor handed Blair the bag and Blair opened it up. She found a small pink onesie with the white lettering **Audrey Renee: Perfect Baby**. Blair found another onesie. It was plain-no words with purple stripes over a mint green coloring. Next came a small rainbow colored tutu and a pair of white footed tights. There was also a pair of tan UGG booties. Another onesie, with the writing: **100% Adorable!** Some soft pink socks, and other numerous babies clothing. Blair grinned widely, "You really didn't have to do this, mother! I've got zillions of clothes back home!"

"None like these! Finally, a name for the little monster and now I've got personalized baby clothing!"

Audrey gurgled from her crib. Blair sighed and picked her daughter up. She had fed her before, and it hurt just the slightest bit. She fed Audrey and cuddled the baby girl. Audrey was only twelve hours old. She liked the food.

~xoxo~

The next day, Bart woke up bright and early. He quickly dressed in a white jacket and black slacks. He pulled on his dress shoes and then grabbed his credit card and a piece of white paper with the logo "Beggers can't be Choosers" in bright pink letters. It was one of Lily's numerous attempts to have a nice family who was tidy and neat. He quickly wrote in his chicken scratch:

_Went shopping. I'll be back soon. Text me if you go to the hospital. –Bart B. _

He threw the note in his son's bedroom and then straightened his jacket. He took his phone out and turned it on. He texted Chuck as well, knowing that his son would probably check his phone first.

_Went shopping. Txt me if u go 2 hospital. I want 2 cum w/ u –Bart B. _

He grabbed a five dollar bill, and when he got to the lobby he bought a cup of coffee from the table. He threw the five dollars in the coffee can and walked out the lobby, onto the brisk sidewalk. It was only 7:00, but New York City was bustling.

Bart walked to the lovely baby store that was close to the apartment building. It was three stories tall and absolutely all baby and baby momma stuff. Bart opened the doors for himself and a highly pregnant woman who had a toddler attached to her leg.

Bart cringed. Toddlers were his least favorite, and Bart was sure that whenever Audrey, his granddaughter hit that age, both Blair and Chuck would turn the little girl over to the maids. Of course, he could be wrong. Blair had been all for raising the kid alone. Bart thought it was crazy, and he was pretty sure that Chuck did too. It was unheard of! Raising a child in New York _without _ the help of a maid!

Bart walked into the store and found that it was bright yellow and cheery with lots of baby clothes. Bart had a lot to spend on his new granddaughter and he was excited to do it. Audrey was going to have the best wardrobe that a new born baby could have. Not to mention when the little girl would grow up; she would be envied by her peers because her hair would be perfect, and she would have the newest unreleased OPI nail polish, and the newest fashions.

Bart took his mind off his "future" thoughts of his newborn granddaughter and started to shop.

He found himself going crazy with the clothes.

Everyone had always claimed that it was more fun to shop for a girl, and Bart, who knew not a thing about fashion, found it to be true. Girls just had more options for everything. Names, clothes, hair, etc.

Bart found a white skirt and pant set with a green shirt with white flowers everywhere on it. He stuffed it in his cart and then went on to the skirts. He grabbed a purple one, a blue and white striped one, a puffy green one, and a plum purple one with green dots on it. He then moved on to the hair accessories.

Chuck had showed Bart a picture of Audrey, and Bart knew she had hair. He found some headbands for Audrey and a couple of pain-free barrette hair holders.

Bart picked up some shoes. A cute little miniature pair of light blue Adidas slip-ons, a pair of purple UGG boots, a pair of red UGG boots, a pair of light blue UGG boots, a pair of white slipper shoes with pink and green argyle, a pair of black tap shoes, a pair of green flip flops, a pair of white and blue polka dot socks and finally a pair of light brown moccasins.

Bart moved from the shoes to the shirts. He got Audrey a light mint shirt with the words **Daddy's Little Princess** on it, a blue shirt with purple polka dots on it, a long sleeved orange shirt with the words **Peace, Love, & Mommy**, a plain black long sleeved shirt, a yellow shirt with an orange animated sun wearing black sunglasses, a light blue shirt with white strips, a purple shirt with a little polar bear who was saying **I'm so cool, Ice Cubes Cry**, a brown shirt, a little purple dress, and numerous other things.

And finally, Bart moved onto the onesies and sleepers. He found himself mesmerized by the little sleepers. He found purple two piece sleeper with the green lettering **Catnap** and a cat underneath snoring, he grabbed a couple onesies, and numerous other sleepers.

He paid for the items, satisfied by his sense of grandfatherly love and checked his phone with his bags snug on his wrist.

_Going 2 hospital 'round 10. Visiting hours strt 4 u n b's friends then. I can go in anytime but I'll wait 4 u. –Chuck_

_Alright. Coming home. Got some things for Aud. –Bart B._

_Ok. It's only 8, so I'm going to grab some bibs & pacifiers and crap. –Chuck_

_Whatever floats your boat. –Bart B. _

Bart smiled and then walked up the street, ready to get the things into the house. He was so ready to meet her. Audrey Renee, his brand new baby granddaughter.

She was bound to be a beaut, with Blair and Chuck's mixture, she was going to be perfect.

~xoxo~

Audrey whined as the nurse took her from Blair.

"Thank you." Blair said hoarsely.

The nurse smiled, "You have a beautiful daughter, Ms. Waldorf."

Blair smiled at the nurse. "Thank you."

The nurse whisked the baby girl away and Blair leaned back against the bed. She was tired. So tired from birthing, she was still healing, and then Audrey. Audrey needed fed about every two hours and it was exhausting and kind of painful. It had been excruciating at first, with Audrey sucking on her breasts, but now they kind of just stung.

Roughly an hour later, Audrey was brought back in by the same nurse. She was changed and in a new blanket. It was still pink but this time with the words **Little Miracle **in bold lettering. Blair quickly took the little girl in her arms and snuggled with her. Audrey was truly a miracle. Sure, she was Chuck Bass', but Audrey Renee Bass was beautiful. Chuck Bass' daughter.

Blair snorted at the thought of this little girl, being the product of Chuck's. She was gorgeous.

It didn't surprise her at all. Chuck was attractive, but Audrey was the product of Blair Waldorf, queen B and the stoner, Chuck Bass. It was bound to be an adventure, and Blair was sure of it.

Audrey was soon fed and then she was put into a crib next to Blair's bed. Blair spent a half an hour staring at Audrey and then soon found herself very tired and sore.

She went to sleep.

_Blair silently walked across the floor downstairs of her penthouse. It was night. The curtains were down and the TV was blasting an old episode of the latest drama show-GOSSIP GIRL!_

_The tiny blond came on the TV and smiled brightly. _

"_Good evening, and welcome to GOSSIP GIRL! Where GG gets the scoop on the Upper East Sider's and their daily life. I'm Trisha McKenzie, and I'm currently helping GG get the scoop. To you, GG!"_

_The screen changed from the small blond to a different girl. She was beautiful and had this angelically golden hair that was curled nicely. She was wearing a purple dress, from Bloomingdale's and she looked gorgeous without any makeup. She grinned at the camera. _

"_Hello, I'm Ginger Goppe. I'm GG, and I'm getting the scoop." The angle changed and she turned to face it. "Today, I've got two very important people here!" she paused for a dramatic moment. "Blair Waldorf and Chuck Bass!"_

_The audience clapped and the camera turned to face Blair. She had two blankets over her chest and she was trying to smile, but was obviously in some sort of panic mode-her stomach was enlarged a bit and showed off a small bump. Chuck was sitting on the chair with a little girl hanging on his foot and then a little boy on top of his shoulders screaming at the top of his lungs. _

"_Blair, it's been a while since we've seen you out of you and Chuck's apartment." Ginger smiled fakely. "And I can see why."_

_Blair smiled shyly. "Uh yes. Well, as you can see, my daughter Audrey over there just started kindergarten, my son Derek is starting preschool soon, and my newborn twins, Erick and Fiona are still on the boobs. And Mr. Chuck keeps knocking me up with another one!" _

_Ginger chuckled. "Well they're all gorgeous. So, I can see you're doing the alphabet?"_

"_Yes." Chuck nodded, "We decided when Audrey was born, we wanted to have an ABC thing going on. Now we're going for all the letters! We've got our A-Audrey, B is Blair, C is me, D is Derek, E is Erick, and F is Fiona. Next one will be Gregory if a boy and Gemma if a girl."_

_Blair looked at her husband and said through gritted teeth, "Honey, I thought we discussed George if a boy and Gillian if a girl." _

"_No," Chuck laughed nervously, "babe, we decided Greg if a boy and Gemma if a girl."_

_Blair rolled her eyes. "Yeah, because whatever you say goes! I'm the one who's pregnant AGAIN!"_

"_It's not my fault you keep spreading your legs!"_

"_Well, it's not my fault you forgot the condom, you idiot!" _

_Ginger smiled at the camera. "Wow, I didn't know we were in for so much juicy drama!"_

"_Make it my fault, Blair. Like you always do," Chuck screamed. "because I'm the idiot who actually **likes **kids."_

_"It's not about the kids! It's about the fact that you don't even know what names we discussed for our G!"_

"_I remembered A, D, E, and F! And I'm gonna let you win this one, B, because I KNOW that it's Gemma or Greg!" _

"_It's George or Gillian!" _

"_GEMMA OR GREG!"_

_"GEORGE OR GILLIAN!" _

Blair woke up sweaty and looked over at Audrey. She was still a baby. Audrey was awake now, because of Blair's waking start. Blair picked up Audrey and held her close to her.

"Oh, Audrey..." Blair was in tears now.

~xoxo~

Chuck sighed as he leaned up against the counter of the baby store. He'd bought his daughter a bunch of personalized things. The girl was trying to ask him out. She was hugely pregnant, and not very attractive.

"So, I'm almost done with this…pregnancy thing." She twirled the end of her ugly flamingo pink died hair.

"Uh-huh." Chuck yawned.

She smiled, "And, it's not my baby. It's my friend, Clara's. She can't be pregnant, so I offered to carry her kid around for nine months and then I'll be done."

Chuck smiled, "Yeah. My _girlfriend_ just gave birth to my _daughter_." Chuck tried stretching the words out so that flamingo hair would get the hint.

She didn't. "That's cool. She must be adorable, giving as your _such _a catch."

"Yeah, she's perfect. And I was just thinking about proposing to my girlfriend, since we have a baby together."

The girl frowned, "You don't have to get married to her just because you knocked her up."

"I know." Chuck insisted. "But I'm kind of in love with her."

"Oh-well if it doesn't work ou-"

Chuck cut her off. "Oh, sorry I think I just felt my phone vibrate. Can I get my receipt, I've gotta get to the hospital anyways."

Chuck grabbed the bags and snatched the receipt from her witch's fingers. He walked briskly out the door and pulled his phone out.

_Ready 2 go. I'll meet u there.. –Chuck_

_Alright, son –Bart B._

Chuck threw his phone back in his pocket and then went back to his former task, getting to the hospital. He grabbed a taxi, not having the energy to call his limo. He'd probably be spending a long time with Blair today. She and Audrey would probably have nonstop visitors today.

When he got to the hospital he got back to Blair's room easily without anyone trying to hold the new father back from his daughter and his daughter's mother. He knocked on the door of Blair's room and he got a hoarse 'come in' from the inside.

He pushed the door in.

Blair was sitting on the hospital bed with a blanket over her chest and Audrey's feet sticking out from it.

Chuck gulped. "Oh, uh, do you want me to uh, go while you do that?"

Blair giggled, she looked tired. "No. You've already seen me naked. I could care less if a pervert saw me at this moment. Namely you, as the pervert, but whatever. I'm tired, cold, and ready to get me and Audrey out of here."

"Bart's coming to see you."

Blair laughed, "Figured. He _needs _to see little Audrey before she grows up and abandons him."

Blair stopped looking at Chuck and looked down at the blanket. She pushed it down with her free hand and unlatched baby Audrey from her breast. She pulled her shirt up and then put Audrey up upright. She softly patted Audrey's back and burped her.

Audrey spit up on Blair's gown and Blair giggled. "Audrey can't hold her food."

Chuck handed her a towel and she wiped it off.

When she was done with Audrey she stepped off of the bed.

"Did you bring stuff?" Blair asked as she noticed the bag that Chuck had in his hand.

Chuck nodded, "I did." He sat on the bed and opened it. "I brought some personalized stuff and some onesies, some bibs, some pacifiers, blankets, booties, and other crap that I thought she _had _to have."

Blair grinned. "I love shopping for the girl."

"It's fun." Chuck agreed. "What are you doing?"

"Dressing her."

"In what?"

Blair laughed, "Well, I don't know. I was gonna let you pick out an outfit for her."

Chuck sprang from the bed. He walked over to where Blair was standing. Blair shifted Audrey in her arms. "Audrey's clothes are in that suitcase. Everything fits her perfectly," Blair paused and laughed, "trust me, me and Audi had a fashion show."

He kneeled down and rooted through Audrey's miniature salon. He found a light yellow onesie and a yellow headband. He grabbed a pair of brown UGG boots and walked over to the bed. Blair followed Chuck and placed her daughter on the bed. She unwrapped the pink blanket that was from Audrey's birth. Once it was unwrapped, Chuck saw his daughter for the first time naked. It was just like a little Blair except no boobs and absolutely unattractive. Not that Audrey wasn't adorable-it was just she was a naked baby. **His **naked baby.

Blair dressed Audrey in the outfit and then handed her over to Chuck.

"Chuck, I've got to pee. Can you watch her?"

Chuck shrugged. "Sure." He cradled little Audrey in his arms and started doing baby faces.

Blair left to the bathroom and Chuck took up the opportunity to talk to Audrey.

"Audrey, you're going to be a heartbreaker, aren't you. You'll probably break Daddy's little heart, won't you?"

Audrey gurgled.

"Well, you know, I'm not the only one who's gonna end up heartbroken. You know why, little baby?" Chuck pursed as if waiting for an answer from his infant. "You're a product of Blair and Chuck. You're gonna be daddy's little prodigy and you're gonna probably get knocked up before you're twenty. You're gonna get drunk and wasted and come home with some guy that you don't even know and tell me you love him." Chuck sighed. "See your daddy got your mommy pregnant before she went to college. Now, I wouldn't wish anything like that on you, for God's sake, little Aud, but what I'm trying to say is if you do get knocked up, I want you to tell daddy. Daddy needs to know this stuff." Audrey gurgled again and Chuck laughed. "Now, alcohol, daddy's kind of excited about. I mean we're gonna have booze at the house and I bet you're gonna be hilarious whenever you're drunk." Chuck chuckled thinking about his infant drunk. "But above all, I love you. And no matter what happens with me and Blair-I'm your daddy."

Audrey wrinkled her nose.

"Don't like the mushy stuff?" Chuck asked. He chuckled. "I guess you are Blair's baby."


End file.
